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Christian Republicans shocked when they learn what’s actually in the Bible


Christian Republicans shocked when they learn what’s actually in the Bible

Christian Republicans shocked when they learn what’s actually in the Bible from facepalm




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30 replies on “Christian Republicans shocked when they learn what’s actually in the Bible”

The Old Testament is crazy. Genocide. Murder. Rape. Incest. Slavery. All condoned by god.

As Mark Twain said: “The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.”

He should’ve had one with him and opened it right up to the page he was talking about And had them read the verse.

I have to admit, the Bible does have a cool ending. There is fire, people riding around on horses. Fun times for the whole family.

No, no, no, we cherry-pick that shit out of there. Our bible is full of peace and love and hatred of gays but incest and murder we simply ignore. I know it’s supposed to be the word of god but we don’t really believe that BS. The bible is simply used to oppress anyone we don’t like, not actually have religious faith in. /s

There’s all kinds of weird shit in there.

Women who show up on their marriage day not a virgin are supposed to be killed.

You’re not supposed to eat any shellfish.

Collecting sticks on the Sabbath is punishable by death.

Women on their period should not be near men and should isolate.

I love the smug look on her face as if she knows what the fuck is in that book.

There was also some guys in holland that made a video reading things to random people on the street from the Bible like “if two men sleep with each they both have to be killed” stuff liked that and they disguised it as the Quran. They were all blindly hating on the Quran without even realizing it was the Bible

They are probably the large portion of the US adults who reads below 6 the grade. The Bible does have some big words.

Jesus said VS what they heard:

Feed the hungry? —Cut funding to school lunch programs.

Love your neighbor? —Build a wall.

Heal the sick? —Stop socialized medicine at all costs.

Turn the other cheek? —Everyone should own a gun!

In the words of George Carlin:
“And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time…BUT HE LOVES YOU!”

I think that’s the same book that tells of some guy mutilating the genitals of corpses.

Samuel 18:27

David arose and went, he and his men, and killed two hundred men of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full count to the king

Edit: When I said ‘book’ I was irreverently referring to the entire Bible, not the individual books of the Bible.

It’s almost as if they have no fucking idea what’s actually in the Bible except the cherry picked lines that apply to them at specific times.

What the fuck do you mean “No”?! It’s literally in there. Wtf is wrong with these people? The cognitive dissonance is off the fucking charts.

There’s also the story of the village children who pointed and laugh at a random old man so god then immediately sent three female bears to rip all the children to death.

Or how Lot offered up his daughters to be gang raped by a random group of dudes to calm them down when they showed up on his front lawn.

Or how the Jewish men made a marriage pact with a rival tribe’s men but before they could get married the men had to be circumcised and as the men rested from their new injuries, a squad of Jewish men stormed in and killed all of the rival tribe.

Or how the Bible actually says masturbation is cool as long as you bath your whole body afterwards.

Once told a coworker that God once had a group of children mauled by she-bears for making fun of a bald man. She demanded to see the verse, then said “oh it’s the King James Bible” so I then found a digital copy of her personal bible and showed her the same verse. Kings 2:23 23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 And he went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.

The bible has incest, torture, war, deceit, all that. Most Christians have never actually read the bible. Making their hate of other people all the more hypocritical

They say “no no” because they actually haven’t read the bible, besides the few classics like John 3:16.

Wasn’t there a story where a guy read the Bible on the radio and people didn’t realize and called in being offended?

I know this happened when NPR read the Constitution on air for 4th of July and people called in and said it was leftist propaganda

As a Christian I agree that the Bible should not be in schools. Separation of church and state is important.

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